Is My Inability to Recall Words More than Brain Fog?
I was greeting hundreds of attendees at a reception a couple weeks ago, excited to share with them the different resources available to help them navigate the convention center campus where my work was hosting a conference.
“We want to let you know about the many resources at your …, Oh my gosh, I know there’s a word.” I paused while my brain raced to recall the word that so obviously completed this oft-used expression.
Trying to make light of the situation, I said, “I know the word, and I know you all know what I’m talking about.” I fumbled begging my brain to process more quickly.
“Disposal!” Someone in the crowd shouted.
“See, I knew you knew what I was talking about,” I laughed.
Fortunately for me, it was a room full of people who were more interested in the drinks, food, and networking than in my welcome announcement. They were very forgiving of my blunder. And while I have since tried to forgive myself for the obvious symptom of brain fog, a known side effect of menopause, I have wondered whether there was something else going on.
According to a recent Forbes article by Jess Cording, I’m not the only woman experiencing these momentary lapses of common vocabulary recall. Dr. Jen Gunter, MD, Bay Area OB/GYN and Author of The Menopause Manifesto explained that brain fog is quite common along with other more widely known symptoms like hot flashes and trouble sleeping.
The problem is that women experience these and many other symptoms in front of other people, whether at home or at work, and that leads to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Not surprisingly, this results in heightened feelings of incompetence, which can lead to depression.
Though there’s little evidence to suggest that menopause causes depression, there are certainly innumerable personal anecdotes like mine that lead menopausal women to have negative thoughts about themselves. The stories they make up about themselves can result in feelings of depression. Coincidentally, brain fog is also a symptom of depression.
Ways to Navigate
As we go about our daily routines, often surrounded by family members who aren’t sharing our experiences and perhaps can’t empathize with what we’re going through, we can often feel very alone. While some may have the inclination to isolate so as to minimize feeling embarrassed, that can lead to loneliness and only worsen the situation. Normalizing the experience with a little levity can help. My husband has even tried to excuse some of his mistakes by blaming “man” opause.
Here are a few other habits that have worked for me:
Find a therapist: For a variety of reasons, I’ve been in therapy for decades; however, I’ve had at least a handful of different therapists who have all served different needs at different times. My current therapist specializes in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Both of these approaches focus on reprogramming negative thinking, and I find it very effective.
Exercise often: My entire body aches all the time. Everything hurts. Always. Yet, I need to exercise for an hour a day at least five days a week or my mental health suffers. Whether it’s getting out for a walk, using my Peloton our SugarWOD app, or making up some workout on my own, I make it a priority to get something done, and I don’t let myself take two days off in a row.
Find shared experiences that validate you: Whether it’s talking to a friend, reading a book, listening to a podcast, or writing a blog, I feel better when I know that I am not alone. That confirmation is what compels me to share my own stories with others—even if my words are only helpful to one other person.
Have a story that might help to lift someone else up? Share it here!