Famous Last Words: My Kid Would Never Do That
A parent's guide to teen online safety tools and why the conversation still matters
When I was a high school teacher, I used to take kids on trips organized through an educational tour company. In preparation for travel, the other chaperones and I would meet with parents and kids to go over the rules and expectations.
As we prepared for a trip to Italy with over 40 students, many of whom were seniors who could legally purchase alcohol in Europe, we made it very clear that the rules outlined in the student handbook would apply at all times while we were traveling internationally on this school sanctioned trip. We emphasized what behaviors were unacceptable (drinking) and what the consequences would be (your child will be sent home at your expense).
After the meeting, one mother came up to us with a warning.
“You want to watch out for these two girls,” she said.
When we had to call her to let her know that her daughter had purchased wine, she was so embarrassed. It was a classic case of, “my kid would never do that.”
Fast forward almost 20 years, and we are living in a completely different world where, according to Bloomberg, members of Gen Alpha are reportedly, “addicted to their phones, lack self-discipline and social skills, cannot read, cannot spell.” The digital world in which they live affords them access to far more than alcohol, and the consequences of their choices are far greater than a flight home from Europe.
My Child Would Never Do That
I also recall a time in my childhood when I was caught in a lie. My father was angry to learn I had spent my entire $5 allowance at the penny candy store down the street, so I lied and said that it wasn’t mine.
“It’s Tara’s, and she asked me to keep it for her because she didn’t want to get in trouble,” I told my dad.
Dad picked up the phone to call Tara’s mother.
“Donna, Kacy has a bag of Tara’s candy here,” he started.
A few seconds of silence passed when I heard him said, “Kacy would never lie.”
In the words of the venerable Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, “There is not a person in this courtroom who has never told a lie.”
We know this to be true, yet as parents, we want to believe our children.
Hope Is a Dangerous Thing in the Digital World
According to a recent study published by Pew Research Center, 54% of teens say they have used AI for help with schoolwork and 38% say they have used AI to create or edit images or videos. Looking at these statistics, it’s impossible to say, “not my kid.” As parents, we have to be realistic.
Young people today are turning to AI chatbots for social and emotional support—developing relationships with technology rather than communicating with humans in real life, or IRL as the kids say.
This is the reality of the world we live in, and parents can’t afford to naively believe, “my kid would never do that.” Yet, we are seeing the misuse and abuse of AI tools all around us, every day. Deepfakes are becoming increasingly easier to create and an astounding number of teenagers are finding themselves the victim of sextortion scams.
An 18-year-old in Pennsylvania is reportedly facing hundreds of felony sex crime charges related to using social media to bate teens into connecting with him. Once he established trust, he’d convince them to send him “compromising pictures,” that he’d then use to get them to pay a ransom.
Surveilling or Protecting?
I’ve long been conflicted on whether to use parental monitoring tools. When I bought the Apple Watch for my daughters, I appreciated that I could let them roam while also knowing where they are. But the Black Mirror episode, Arkangel, from season 4 made me equally afraid of the power to know too much about what my kids are doing.
For parents today, the question of how far do I want to go with monitoring my kids online activities? is not an easy one to answer. I haven’t figured out the answer to that quite yet, but I do appreciate knowing that I have options. It is equally as important for me to exercise an abundance of caution when using technology as it is for me to teach my children to do the same. The delicate line between surveillance and protection can easily get blurred, so for right now, I personally am erring on the side of constantly talking to my kids about online safety and security.
For those parents who are considering using tools to help monitor online behaviors, it’s important to understand that no tool catches everything, especially with tech-savvy teenagers who know how to use VPNs, secondary accounts, or disappearing-message apps.
The tools in the AI generated list below do work, but should also be part of a broader conversation with teens about online safety. We don’t want to fall into that same trap of circumventing human interaction by relying on technology.
Bark — Best for behavior monitoring Bark uses AI to scan communications across 30+ platforms and alerts parents only when it detects warning signs like bullying, depression, self-harm, or threats. Covers iOS, Android, Windows, and Mac. Around $14/month for unlimited kids and devices.
Qustodio — Best all-rounder for filtering + visibility Strong web filtering with category-based controls, detailed reports on app usage, search terms, and YouTube activity. Covers all four of your platforms. Plans start around $55/year for one device, scaling up for families.
Aura — Best for families who want parental controls + identity protection bundled together It’s primarily an all-in-one family security platform, combining parental controls with adult identity theft protection, credit monitoring, dark web monitoring, antivirus, and VPN. The parental control layer covers web and app filtering, screen time management, and a notable Safe Gaming feature that monitors in-game voice and text chat across 200+ popular PC games like Fortnite, Roblox, and Discord (Windows only). In 2025, Aura also added AI-powered child wellbeing features that alert parents to concerning changes in their teen’s online behavior patterns.
Bitdefender Parental Controls — Best for families already in the Bitdefender security ecosystem Bitdefender’s parental controls are part of its Family plans and pair a solid suite of monitoring tools with one of the most highly rated antivirus engines in the industry. Strong content filtering that blocks sites by category or individually. Location tracking is notably precise, pinpointing devices to within a few meters, and includes geofencing alerts when your teen arrives or leaves a set location. There's also a unique internet time reward system that lets you grant bonus screen time when teens complete tasks like homework or chores, a small but clever feature for encouraging good behavior. It covers iOS, Android, Windows, and Mac.
For now, I’m happy with the parental controls afforded through Apple, but who knows whether I’ll get a call telling me that one of my kids was the culprit of digital mischief that will make me change my mind.