The Watching Problem: What Research Says About Surveillance Apps and Your Kids
A growing industry of monitoring apps is making a promise to show parents everything about the online behaviors of my children, from text messages to location history. But there is enough peer-reviewed research to suggest that the cure may be undermining the very safety I and other parents are trying to build.
My daughters are getting to the age that once they come home, they disappear into their rooms, scroll on their phones, chat with friends, and watch TV. They’re spending less time with me, and in doing so, I’m concerned about how and with whom they are interacting.
If we take the internet out of the equation, their behavior is no different from my own at their age. But the internet is a part of their lives, and as a parent, it feels like there is a greater risk to their emotional safety than there ever was to mine. Maybe it’s the media coverage of the bellwether trial against Meta or my own scrolling through LinkedIn that is contributing to these feelings of paranoia, but I find myself challenging my own previously held belief that my kids are responsible consumers of digital media.
From the time we allowed them to have phones, I always told them that I would monitor their text messages. They evidenced appropriate use, and I felt comfortable giving them more freedom. Then their “time spent scrolling,” became concerning, so I leveraged downtime and app limits. We established family rules, like no phones at the dinner table and put the phone down when someone is talking to you.
I’ve not gone as far as installing surveillance software on their devices, and evidence suggests that I shouldn’t. Let’s take a look.
The Disclosure Paradox
A 2025 report published by Family Online Safety Institute found that 36% of parents use parental controls to limit or monitor online behavior. For parents who are considering using surveillance software products, there is reason to pause and consider the potential risks involved. Another 2025 study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies surveyed 248 parents of early adolescents aged 10–13 in the US. In conducting interviews with 31 of them, researchers found that restrictive parental monitoring was associated with higher rates of problematic internet use. The tighter the controls, the worse the outcome.
The most consistent finding across these reports is that the more closely parents surveil their teens, the less information they actually get. J.B. Branch, AI Governance and Technology Policy Counsel at Public Citizen said he is cautious about surveillance software because protection should not come at the expense of trust, privacy, and autonomy of children. “Constant monitoring can sometimes push children to hide problems rather than report them.” Branch said, noting that open communication is also healthier for parent-child relationships and adolescent development.
Study after study affirms Branch’s belief. Teens who think their parents are using surveillance monitoring reported significantly less willingness to voluntarily disclose problems. They aren’t willing to talk to their parents.
If kids are not willing to talk, how are parents going to know about risky behavior? When surveillance closes the door on communication, parents are left with raw data that has no context and kids who won’t share information to help parents make sense of what’s really happening.
What the Evidence Actually Supports
The report from the Journal of Child and Family Studies also found that parents who explained their reasoning, discussed content, and created a safe space for kids to engage in dialogue saw better results than those who simply installed controls and checked logs in secret.
In 2025 Community Research Institute surveyed 151 young people, the majority of whom (83%) were under 25. Overwhelmingly, the vast majority (77%) said that tracking apps affect their relationship with their parents and 60% admitted they had actually disabled the location services on their phones. More than half of the teens being monitored had already found the off switch.
Additionally, evidence suggests that delaying smartphone use until kids are 13-years-old helps to reduce the risk that they will, “experience obesity, depression, and insufficient sleep, compared to their peers without smartphones.”
For kids who are already using connected devices, studies suggest that the most protective factor is not monitoring, but quality parent-child communication where families can talk openly about online life. Rather than invest resources in surveillance software, parents will reportedly yield a greater return on their investment if they put the time into having on-going conversations with their kids.
The Bottom Line
The instinct to protect is real and right. But the research is consistent. Surveillance apps deployed covertly, especially on older teens, without open communication, tend to erode the very trust that makes adolescents safer in the long run.
“Parents should know what tools exist, but the stronger long-term approach is digital literacy, open communication, and helping children develop judgment rather than normalizing surveillance as the default,” Branch said. “This is also healthy for parent-children relationships and adolescent development.” The most protective thing a parent can do is build a relationship so that when a kid is in trouble, they pick up the phone and call for help.